Anyone ............

[Bill in MA]

Two antennas met on a rooftop, fell in love, and got married.  Guests said that the ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent. 

[john2]

  lol  Thanks all.  I needed a few giggles.

[Bill in MA]

Horse says to pony, "You don't sound so good.  You got laryngitis?"

Pony says, "Nah, I'm okay.  I'm just a little hoarse"

[Greg Birky]

😂😂😂🏁

[sentsat71]

"I shot two at the can, two at the sign, one at the skillet and one in the pants."

"Brush your dentist twice a day and visit your toothbrush once a year."

2 quotes from one of my favorite Don Knott's movie in the late '60's
any guesses to the title of the movie?

[TonyK]

Shakiest Gun in the West?

[Bill in MA]

A funeral procession with a horse-drawn carriage carrying the casket made its way slowly up the steep hill to the cemetery. Suddenly the casket slid off the carriage and down the hill, right into the center of town, and smashed through the front of the drugstore. It came to a stop in front of the counter, the lid popped open, and the body sat up and asked the druggist "Say!  You got anything to stop this coffin?"

[john2]

     lol   The best one yet.  Thanks. 

[sentsat71]

TonyK asked

Shakiest Gun in the West?

Yep, that's the one....
Somewhat of a remake of Bob Hope's "Paleface"....

[sentsat71]

"Need a helmet painted?
I NOAH a guy."

[Big Orange]

Ok, I'm late to the party, let's try this one

Why does the bald headed racer buy used tires from the front-runners......he can't afford "toupee" for sticker tires every week......ha-rump-bump !!!

[ausbodies]

How many dyslexics does it take to change a lightblub???

69 or 96!

Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac?
He lay awake all night wondering if there really was a dog.

[sentsat71]

Don't know if I got this one 100% accurate, but here goes:

One June Carter Cash's favorite poems:

I went out to milk the cow one day, with my bucket, stool and a fork full of hay and said, "Be still Bossy, I've been out all night just a sneakin' around. she looked back with her eyes big and brown and said, "Sit tight and I'll just jump up and down.

From the Box set CD's: Johnny Cash at Folsom Prison and Johnny Cash at San Quentin

[sentsat71]

 

Good one, David!!!!!   ROTFL!!!!!!

[john2]

   Is Google male or female ?

Female.  Doesn't let you finish your sentence before making a suggestion.